It took me until the last tweet to realize they were misspelling cologne and not being clever.
Saying something smells like colon is hilarious and I am going to start using it.
HAHAHAHA IM DJEIXNEINXOXNSNS I CAAAAANT
i love it when you can still smell your boyfriends colon on you
In ascending order of humiliation felt:
So that new chick at work who I’m supposed to hate, well, she likes Jack Johnson. Which means that I hate Jack Johnson now.
I say “now” because there was actually a time in my late teens when I was a really big embarrassing Jack Johnson fan and even attended his concert in a big open park.
Had this been any other person professing their fondness for Jack Johnson, I would have happily reminisced and gleefully confessed to them my own past love, but because it was her, her, I immediately quashed all such lingering feeling.
Oh well. I really fucking hope she tells me she hates the Temper Trap.
I’m currently obsessed with this awesomely tragic reality TV show called Dinner Date. Brief description of the show stolen from the website goes something like “In each episode, a singleton chooses three blind dates from a selection of five potential partners, based entirely on menus they have created.”
That right there is pretty much my idea of perfect entertainment because it marries two of my favourite things:
Most people are pretty realistic and share similar sentiments about the night on its completion. ie. they both agree there was little chemistry/physical attraction, they both agree the homemade meal sucked, etc etc.
But my favourite outcome is when there is obvious incongruity in each party’s sentiments about the date. ie. when asked to rate the night out of a possible 3 stars, the male mentions a lone star, while the overconfident look on the girl’s face expresses a number of stars representative of Orion’s Belt.
That part’s painfully embarrassing to watch, but also painfully heartbreaking on many levels because I guess it reminds you of the times when you were last filled with as much giddiness, delusion and courage, and openly welcoming yourself to humiliation and the idea that someone might think constellations of you.
Hi. I'm Rhea. 27. Web Designer Type Nerd Person. Sydney. This is my place on the internet where I collect internet things. I enjoy boardgames, 3D Magic Eye Puzzles and, piggybacks. Things I like about me: an ability to laugh at myself, my mega memory and, my above average parallel parking skills. Things I like about other people: an ability to make me laugh, a broad knowledge of random trivia and, a willingness to perform full body massages. I like to collect: business cards, records and, chess victories.
I am terrible at: making friends, accepting criticism, accepting praise, not fidgeting and, declining full body massages. I adore: beerguts, buzzcuts, bowlcuts, interested and interesting, hands in pockets, breakfasts in the afternoon, facial hair, metaphors, speech impediments, nostalgia and literacy. I am undecided about: tickling. I believe in: gut feelings, karma, tangents, lust, softness, mistakes, dinosaurs, magic, comfortable silences and most conspiracy theories. I also have a cat named Radioactive Man.